When a trainer asks you to do an exercise, you pretty much know what that exercise is going to involve.
A sit-up is going to involve you-what else? Sitting up. Over and over.
When a trainer says squat you know you’re supposed to stick your ass out, keep your chest high, and pretend you’re sitting in a chair-despite the fact that sitting down in a chair usually doesn’t cause quite the same burn in your thighs.
Unfortunately, there are some exercises out there that are sneaky S.O.B’s….they sound great, give you dirty thoughts, or make you think you’ll be feeling butterflies and rainbows, but then the searing pain and exhaustion set in.
Here is a list of some of the more diabolically disguised fitness moves out there:
What it sounds like: Well, any kind of hip thrusting has to be fun right?
What it is: You’re actually humping the air, a heavy barbell or kettlebell – sometimes on one leg. Calm down dirtybird.
What it sounds like: Anything with “dip” in it is good….skinny dipping, chips and dip, chocolate dipped pretzels..
What it is: An upper body movement that works the triceps, chest and shoulders and involves you lowering and raising your body, while listening to the above mentioned parts of your body scream in agony.
What it sounds like: Ummm….Yep. That’s it.
What it is: Pulling a weight from the ground to overhead in one swift movement. Not for the faint of heart.
What it sounds like: A piece of wood?! No one told me to bring a piece of wood to the gym. They only said I needed water!
What it is: YOU are the piece of wood. Your abs, lower back, shoulders and everywhere else scream with pretend joy while you hold yourself straight and stiff, in the worst game of freeze tag ever.
Clean and Jerk
What it sounds like: The lonely man’s Saturday night after cleaning his bachelor apartment
What it is: Another dastardly Olympic lift that makes your entire body sore. Pull a weight from the floor to your shoulders and press it overhead, with the help of a split stance.
What it sounds like: A combination of releasing two different bodily functions…what could be more relaxing than that?
What it is: The world’s most hated exercise. If you don’t know what it is, you’ve missed out.